You Know You're a Racer

[Symon]

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A RACER WHEN:

 

-You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.

 

-You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses.

 

-You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."

 

-You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous best time.

 

-You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to "racing depth".

 

-When you hear 'overcooked it', instead of food you think 'off the track'.

 

-You change engine oil every week and believe that $8.00 per quart is a fair price.

 

-You hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.

 

-You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.

 

-You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.

 

-You measure most acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires that could have been purchased.

 

-You sit in your race car in the garage, make car noises, shift,

and practice your heel and toe, while putting your motor together.

 

-Your garage(s) hold more cars than your house has bedrooms.

 

-You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Racers, start your engines!"

 

-If you can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends.

 

-Your Christmas list begins with "another set of Hoosiers" and Carillo con rods (and your wife knows what these are).

 

-After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"

 

-Your reading material in the bedroom consists of books written by famous race drivers, every book Carroll Smith has ever written and 50 car magazines, none of which have centerfolds.

 

-People know you by your car number, and racecar paint scheme.

 

-Your criteria for selecting a wife include keeping lap charts, off

track parts chasing, tow rig driving and feeding 8 hungry pit crew on a budget.

 

-Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit.

 

-You plan your big summer vacation around the race schedule.

 

-You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing you to "lift" early and your exit speed to be lower than your previous best.

 

-You give out an Auto Parts Supplier's telephone number when a friend asks for the best hardware store.

 

-You look at the fire hydrant at your corner and see an apex marker.

 

-You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work.

 

-Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.

 

-You always do a heel & toe downshift in traffic while your passenger gives you a real funny look.

 

-You can't stand understeer.

 

-You hate 50 mile drives to visit relatives, but you will gladly drive 400 miles to any race track.

 

-You are certain that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.

 

-Your freeway forays include brushing the curbs as you apexed the on-ramps perfectly.

 

-You've found your lawn mower runs pretty good on 130 octane gas, but has a "kicky" exhaust smell.

 

-While watching TV of other race series at tracks you have raced, you check your old qualifying times to see where you would be gridded for the race.

 

-You would choose a roll bar and a 100% delete package if it were an option on your new car.

 

-You enjoy driving through snowy or wet, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.

 

-White smoke coming out from under your tires is a common sight.

 

-You get excited about a 17 degree slip angle and it has noting to do with women's longerie.

 

-You consider the redline important until the last lap of the last

race.

 

-You have brochures of Watkins Glen, Road America, Mid Ohio, and Lime RockPark in your cubicle at work in January.

 

-Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for your next race track.

 

-When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "Going Faster."

 

-When someone asks where you went to school, you reply, "Skip Barber".

 

-You own five cars and only one of them is unmodified.

 

-You know the skid pad numbers of your riding mower.

 

-You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute.

 

-You've slalomed a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview mirror afterwards.

 

The Number one reason that you know you are a hard core racer! When you meet new people and show them a peekshure™ of your race car before they learn that you are married and have children.

 

 

Nisem ?isto racer, se pa v dosti zadev kvalificiram. Nekaj je itak internih ameri?kih.