Tole je pa kr smeh

[daSKAn]

Pr men je glih kontra...

 

Ko sem bil mali so me neki po bolnci vlekl, potem sem se pri ene 3-4 letih pod sod kjer se je ?nocp kuhal ulegu pa zaugal, zdej sem ve? al manj na 3-ji, samo glede na to da sem zmer bolj blesav, ka?e da bo res kmal 4-padla...

[Deeyan]

js sm ?e kr na 1.

[BOJČ]

Blondinki sta pozabili klju? v avtu in zaloputnili vrata. Ko sta hoteli vstopiti v avto je prva predlagala: "S kamnom bom razbila ?ipo!" "Ja, pa hitro, ker bo de? in je streha odprta!" je rekla druga.

 

 

[qwerty]

Blondinki sta pozabili klju? v avtu in zaloputnili vrata. Ko sta hoteli vstopiti v avto je prva predlagala: "S kamnom bom razbila ?ipo!" "Ja, pa hitro, ker bo de? in je streha odprta!" je rekla druga.

 

 

po dolgem ?asu en

[Turbo Lumpi]

Mo?ki pride delat kot prodajalec. ?ef mu postavi par vpra?anj, da vidi ?e je dober prodajalec. Prvo vpra?anje: kaj bi priporo?ili ?enski za pomivanje oken? On odgovoril: stelex! ?ef zadovoljno postavi drugo vpra?anje: kaj bi priporo?il ?enski za pomivanje kuhinje? Tudi stelex! ?ef za?udeno: Kako pa to da spet stelex? Mo?ki: ja veste danes je ve?ina miz pokritih z steklom... ?ef zadovoljen, da zna mo? razmi?ljati in postavi ?e tretje vpra?anje: Kaj pa bi priporo?ili ?enski, ki ima menstruacijo? Mo?ki ponovno odgovori stelex!! ?ef se pa tokrat ne strinja z njim, vendar ga vseeno za?udeno vpra?a zakaj ponovno stelex?? Mo?ki: ja ?e sexat ne more, naj pa vsaj okna ?isti!

[Symon]

Na medenih tednih se zjutraj ?enin pore?e pri britju in kri obri?e v rjuho. Sobarica vidi kri na rjuhi, misli da je bila nevesta nedol?na in pove ?efu.

 

?ef pravi mladoporo?encema: "To je velika redkost in za na? hotel velika ?ast. Za nagrado bosta lahko no? po zlati poroki, ?ez 50 let, brezpla?no prespala pri nas."

 

?ez 50 let dedek in babica res prideta in prespita v isti sobi. Zjutraj babica, precej prehlajena, izpiha nos v rjuho.

 

"Ja kaj pa dela??" pravi dedek, babica pa odgovori: "Pred 50 leti si ti meni dvignil ugled, zdaj ga bom pa jaz tebi."

[Boss]

tole je pa blo ene dve minuti totalnega smeha - definitivno video meseca

[daSKAn]

[qwerty]

The federal government is trying to decide whether The FBI, the CIA, or the Los Angeles Police Department is the most effective at apprehending criminals. The issue is to be decided with a test - a rabbit is put in a forest and each organization has to find it.

 

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

 

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

 

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!

[qwerty]

Policist vstopi v sla??i?arno in naro?i:

"Krem?nito in kavo!"

"Kavo vam lahko postre?em, krem?nit je pa zmanjkalo."

"No, potem mi dajte pa krem?nito in oran?ado."

"Nimamo krem?nit. Samo oran?ado lahko dobite."

"Potem mi dajte pa krem?nito in mineralno vodo!"

Sla??i?ar se razjezi in policista klofne okoli u?es: "Kaj vam nisem ?e trikrat povedal, da nimamo krem?nit!!!???"

Policist sla??i?arja vklene in ga odpelje na policijsko postajo, da bo vlo?il ovadbo. Komandir pristopi k sla??i?arju in ga vpra?a kako je bilo. Ta mu pojasni zakaj je klofnil policista.

"Prav ste storili!" je rekel komandir. "Jaz bi mu ?e krem?nito vrgel v glavo!"

[Symon]

Gospodine Ekrem ima nov hit. Tokrat je raper! Se mi pa zdi, da se un tadrug ?lepa na njegovo slavo, to ni lepo. Da takole izkori??a vrhunsko zvezdo, da bi ?e on postal slaven.

[mazdaman]

Mi smo najbolj?a dr?ava na svetu:

 

- mo?ki so pri ?ankih

- ?enske na telefonih

- otroci so na ekstaziju in ganđi

- umetniki na ganđi in koki

- zgube na koki in heroinu

- duhovniki na otrocih

- politiki na psih

- hrvati na na?i zemlji

[nisde]

Legenda, ni druge besede

 

[Deeyan]

Legenda, ni druge besede

 

 

tole pa je za nasmejat

[nisde]

?ena, kar srce me boli, ko vidim kako se mu?i? s kuhanjem in

?i??enjem stanovanja.... Daj raj?i zapri vrata od dnevne sobe!...

[Z M A J]

Kok sm se zdele nasmeju, jebe? tak foto?op, ko se kar od nek roka prika?e, od osebe, ki je niti ni na slik (bravo 24 ur)!

[Symon]

[Z M A J]

Nima pa glave, o?itno!

[nisde]

 

[nisde]

 

Hahahahaha noro

[wiperboy]

The federal government is trying to decide whether The FBI, the CIA, or the Los Angeles Police Department is the most effective at apprehending criminals. The issue is to be decided with a test - a rabbit is put in a forest and each organization has to find it.

 

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

 

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

 

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!

 

stari toti pa me je nasmejal ...hvala

[Boss]

Legendarno ....

 

Najprej obvezno poglejte tole

 

 

 

Nato pa tole

 

 

 

smeh zagotovljen

[Grega_]

 

Mo? vstopi v kopalnico, ker ?eli oprati majico v pralnem stroju. Gleda

gumbe, a po dveh minutah razmi?ljanja nima pojma kako.

 

Mo?: "Kateri program je potrebno vklopiti za pranje majice?"

 

?ena: "Ali je majica bomba?na ali sinteti?na ?"

 

Mo?: "Ne vem!"

 

?ena: "Kaj pi?e na majici?!"

 

Mo?: "La?ko je zakon!"

[LabiGT]

haha

http://www.rtvslo.si/sport/videodneva/najp...el-se-ribo/9655

[Symon]

Kako ljudje sli?ijo besedila pesmi. Najbolj?e so potem ?e zgodbe kako so ugotovili zmoto. Naprimer ?ele na kak?nih karaokah itd...

 

Abba: Dancing queen

Real Lyric: "See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen"

"See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen"

 

Nirvana: Smells like teen spirit

Real Lyric: "Here we are now, entertain us"

"Here we are now in containers"

 

John Denver: Country Roads

Real Lyric: "West Virginia, Mountain Momma"

"West Virginia, Mount yer Momma"

 

John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John: The One That I Want

Real Lyric: "Meditate, my direction, feel your way"

"Meditate, mad erection, feel your way"

 

Britney Spears: Baby One More Time

Real Lyric: "Hit me, baby, one more time."

"Hit it, baby, from behind."

 

Ve? pa na zgornji povezavi.