Tole je pa kr smeh

[Nejc1986]

Berlusconi kliče svojega agenta : what the fuck? I kindly asked you to bring me some 20years old escort for tonight.... 

[Nejc1986]

[Alex]

[zubrck]

Menjava gum.

Poslano z mojega SM-G975F z uporabo Tapatalk

[Boss]

... in dejansko doživiš orgazem, ko vijak končno popusti

[gregc88]

[Bini]

Kakšno mrtvilo je na našem forumu,kaj si delate zaloge za 12 dni.....😁.

 

[Nejc1986]

Moja je skuhala pasulj za 3dni... Ni dost da nosimo maske zunaj... Ne... Dajmo jih še doma. 

[Boss]

"Dobar pasulj daleko se čuje" - v bistvu je pa samo izgovor za prdec

[Nejc1986]

Moja mi je lihkar rekla "ej... K greš v trgovino.. Daj dodaj malo tatarske omake pa kečapa na seznam za stacuno...".

 

Zdaj pa nič več ne vidim kaj je pisalo gor in vse se mi packa... 

[Shrek]

A u štacun sneži? 

Al se jokaš...🤣

[Damijani]

Pasulj pa golaž se kuha v kotlovskih količinah. Je neprimerno boljši okus. Pač jed za množico

[Deeyan]

pred 45 minutami je Shrek napisal:

A u štacun sneži? 

Al se jokaš...🤣

 

če je tatarsko pa kečap našpricu gor na seznam.... 🤣

pred 51 minutami je Nejc1986 napisal:

Moja mi je lihkar rekla "ej... K greš v trgovino.. Daj dodaj malo tatarske omake pa kečapa na seznam za stacuno...".

 

Zdaj pa nič več ne vidim kaj je pisalo gor in vse se mi packa... 

 

dej si drugič na telefonu piš seznam, boš vsaj pobrisu lahk 😂

[Nejc1986]

pred 2 minutama je Deeyan napisal:

 

če je tatarsko pa kečap našpricu gor na seznam.... 🤣

 

dej si drugič na telefonu piš seznam, boš vsaj pobrisu lahk 😂

Ja... Še dobro da mi ni rekla, naj dodam kakšno seme (za rože) gor. Pomojem bi mel mal čudno gledali v trgovini ko bi z listkom hodil okoli :"ammm... Policija? ... Nekega deviantneza imamo tu... Hoče kupiti sadje, ampak... No... Pridite... Cinhitreje..."

[Boss]

Men je še vedno najboljša ta - prines iz štacune pirin kruh. Pa sem prnesu šteko uniona pa kilo kruha.

[Alex]

pred 3 minutami je Boss napisal:

Men je še vedno najboljša ta - prines iz štacune pirin kruh. Pa sem prnesu šteko uniona pa kilo kruha.

To zapali pri vas. Sem kar nekaj cajta študiral, zakaj se sploh  gre. Pri nas na obali ne rečemo pivu-pir. Rečemo mu birca. 🤗

Popravljeno 6. april, 2021 od Alex

[Boss]

Ja vi ste sploh neki vaški posebneži. 😜 Birca, pir, beer pa to je vse iz iste fore. Se pa spomnim ene take zgodbe še iz JLA časov, ko jaz tko lepo rečem riž, pa en trdobučni Bosanček "šta ti je to riž", Jaz pa razmišljam pa se mi prpelje beseda "pirinač". Pa Bosanček se razveseli: aha riža, pa šte na kažeš tako.  Zdaj mi naj pa en reče, da včasih niso znal trolat. 😂

[canyon]

[Bini]

[Bini]

[Bini]

😁

[Jest]

The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her partner) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius!

 

The query:

 

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

 

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

 

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck!

[Boss]

Haha, sicer je tole po moje že skoraj 20 let stara fora ampak se še vedno nasmejim, ko jo preberem, čeprav ima variacij na temo že ogromno. Recimo ena taka je tale:

 

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software; severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!!

 

Dear Jane:

Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible.

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support". You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.

To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled. I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install.

[mamica]

dne 15. 3. 2021 ob 10:21 je Shrek napisal:

Mamica, kje je mož? 

 

Zgoraj v sobi. Zakaj?

[mamica]