Tole je pa kr smeh

[Z M A J]

Hrva?ka varjanta Roza scene!

[Turbo Lumpi]

Haha, en kolega meu naliman na facebooku:

 

Novinar spra?uje: “Koliko ?asa potrebujete, da kupite z va?o pla?o mercedes ?”

- Ku?an odgovarja: “Ja ?e skupaj s ?tefko vr?eva, bi rabila tam okoli 4-5 mesecev.”

- Pahor pravi: “Glede na to da sem sam, bi trajalo tam okoli 8-9 mesecev.”

- Jankovi? premi?ljeno: “Bi rekel tam okoli 3-4 leta.”

Novinar se za?udi. “Ja gospod Jankovi?, kako to mislite 3-4 leta?”

“Pa sej veste, mercedes je velika firma” zaklju?i Jankovi?.

[Ploki]

lol. dobra

[Alex]

Alex, v ?udni dru?bi se ti to giblje?... sami bavarci

 

Ampak, ko kej takega preberem po?asi za?enjam razumet zakaj se recimo vozi model z BMW M3 po AC s 100km/h in drugi s Porsche 911 turbo s ravno toliko. Oboje videl v ćivo v zadnjih dveh tednih. Tako po?asi sta se vozila, da sta bila napoto ?e kamionarjem.

 

Kaj ?em,?e so sami "ke?urji" okoli mene...razen mene,ki se vozim v "starih japonskih jajcih".

In seveda,da tudi nam ka?e 0,0 po klancu navzdol.

 

P.s-tudi sam sem videl poleti v Italiji na avtocesti (tropasovnica) tipa z Galardom,ki je vozil 120km/uro.

[Turbo Lumpi]

Mo?ki v lekarni: “Kondome prosim!”

“A dam ?e vre?ko zraven?”, vpra?a prodajalka.

“Ah, ni treba. Saj ni tako grda.”

[YavarYe X6V6]

Kaj ?em,?e so sami "ke?urji" okoli mene...razen mene,ki se vozim v "starih japonskih jajcih".

In seveda,da tudi nam ka?e 0,0 po klancu navzdol.

 

P.s-tudi sam sem videl poleti v Italiji na avtocesti (tropasovnica) tipa z Galardom,ki je vozil 120km/uro.

 

Sam si ti ?e vseeno na bolj?em, ke ve? in prizna? da vozi? jajca, ani pa ne priznajo pa vseeno vedo da furajo DRAGA jajca.

[mazdaman]

Ruske voznice

[Boss]

V Firefoxu vpi?i v google: do a barrel roll

[Gustav]

Sorry All4spin ampak Italijani so (smo) pa res ?istokrvni ?alabajzarji...

 

Sobota trajekt Piombino - Cavo tu tu tu tu tu se peljemo, kar na enkrat ovinek za 180 nazaj proti pristanu in stop....seveda smo se konkretno guncali, ker to je podobno ro?ni z avtom. ?oln ob boku iz luke - vsi pregledovali vrata zadaj...

Nakar pride kapitan - tipi?en zape?en italijan s cigaro v ustih...ma vai vai...v stilu kaj pa gledate teraj dalje sej bo v redu...

Na sredi poti so za?eli vrata loviti s ?pago, ob pristanku pa so vrata ?e konkretno plu?ila po morju avto odelek pa ?e stal v 1cm vode....

 

Gremo naprej

100? kavcije za mobilno hi?ko, ni problema, problem pa je bil ko je treba to dat nazaj...pla?am polno, seveda vse brez papirjev in potem italijanka faca in ke' ke' mi non kapi?e? Pa vse smo se razumeli do sedaj, in me je hotel prepri?ati, da je kavcija v?teta v ra?un, da sem pla?al toliko manj...bemu jim mast 10 minut sem se miril in mirno stal za svojim da ima ?e mojih 100?. Po 15 min se je dal prepri?ati vrnil 100? in za?el jamrati, kot da se je cel svet obrnil proti njemu zaradi mene....

 

Ni ?e konec

Portoferraio - petek pred odhodom, ?e konkretno pihalo sedimo na kavi v zasteklenem vrtu, pride ?enska odpre vrata, in ker je bilo na drugem koncu odprto ji strga vrata z rok jih obrne in s kljuko razbije steklo okna....

?e bi kdo tam sedel bi ga lahko porezalo konkretno....Italijan pride pogleda kaj je blo re?e vafankulo in zbrca stekla pod prazne mize, ve?je kose pa na cesto vr?e

 

skratka jaz sem se sam smejal.

 

 

in taka ciganarija od naroda je evropa. fakoff...

[madmax]

Sorry All4spin ampak Italijani so (smo) pa res ?istokrvni ?alabajzarji...

 

 

a to si kumi zdej pogruntal?

[Boss]

Ja in pol se eni nad Slovenijo prito?ujejo in hvalijo tujino klok je tam vse super in fajn

[rendy]

[Ploki]

http://24ur.com/novice/crna-kronika/video-...ti-s-pajka.html

 

ni ga heroja kot je mazda?

[Z M A J]

Ma kak heroj, debil! za tistih 10? kazni gre raje sfukat pleh, podvozje, sklopko, gume....

 

To je pa? v stilu ne?e? ti mene...

 

Braća, nima? kej! j

[daSKAn]

Tole pa je bizgec prez primere.

[daSKAn]

Evo jih pobo?njakarski hujska?i... ko naj ?infajo, naj to vsaj delajo prav...

Lohka se presko?i na cca. 1minuto pa bo vse jasno.

 

 

[Ploki]

ROFL.

[Slivka]

Koliko programerjev potrebuje? za zamenjavo pregorele ?arnice?

 

Ma, pravzaprav nobenega. ?arnica je "hardware" in ne "software". Torej je to delo ra?unalni?arjev.

 

 

Torej, koliko ra?unalni?arjev potrebuje? za zamenjavo pregorele ?arnice?

 

Ma, pravzaprav nobenega, bodo ?e programerji v softwaru obvozili.

[BOJČ]

Norc

 

[YavarYe X6V6]

Norc

 

 

Kaj ste dosadni s tem posnetkom, ?e cel teden je na forum vsaj 5-7X naliman link.

[Symon]

Sve?e o?enjen mo?ki je dal v spomin svojega mobitela ?tevilko svoje ?ene pod ime: Moje ?ivljenje

 

Po enem letu zakona je dal ?tevilko v spomin pod ime: ?pela

 

Po petih letih zakona je spremenil ime v: ?ena

 

Po desetih letih: Ta stara

 

Po petnajstih letih: Hitler

 

Po dvajsetih letih: Napa?na ?tevilka

[BOJČ]

Kaj ste dosadni s tem posnetkom, ?e cel teden je na forum vsaj 5-7X naliman link.

 

A j*** ga, moram bolj spremljat...

[daSKAn]

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials:

__________________________________________________

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

_________________________________________________

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

 

A: What did your last slave die of?

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.

Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not

... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do...

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is

Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )

A: You are a British politician, right?

__________________________________________________

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.

Milk is illegal.

__________________________________________________

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.

All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

__________________________________________________

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.

You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

__________________________________________________

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

__________________________________________________

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.

__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

[Boss]

auchh, hehe, klele se je pa eden mal iz?ivljal nad tupoglavci

[Z M A J]

A gre kdo v savno?

 

http://www.ongein.nl/video-lekker-naar-de-...p2to_LcTY8.emai